People that believe in me

God this is tough. in my earlier post in getting closer to why i took up cre8 juvenile and it aint pretty... it hurts so much. we have a great team comprising of great ppl. ppl who believe in me. ive always wanted to be part of something like this. ive always wanted to be in support of something like this. they have dreams... dreams they they would do anything to get. they are working so hard... i realized why im supporting this. like ive said i wanted to support this. its a great idea and all but....*sighs* i grew up with lots of ppl around me but ive always been alone.. its not a bad thing.. ppl did not exclude me i did by choice. acknowledging my lonliness has made me see a couple of things. my strengths my weaknesses my patterns my frameworks. although this is a great idea i have nothing else to go by except me wanting them to realize this dreams of them and that they believe i can assist them with this. then i realize i cannot.. its because they believe in me.... which is why this hurts so bad.this is their dream their visions not mine. also i cannot provide the resources the project require. its because they believe in me i cannot do this to them. i have a responsibility. i cant bring shit in for them to handle.. this is my shit.... i still want to be in support of this but not like this. not when i will be more of a liability than an asset. how hard is this... but i have my own way to go... having no choice is still a choice to be made.... this sux but i still gotta do it... at the end ill be stronger by the time i come back if i so choose it.